April 2011
15 posts
3 more days and i’m done!!!! i can start focussing on fixing myself more. i can let loose. i can hang out with friends i dont normally get to hang out with! i cant wait for this summer! i hope it is as awesome as i see it
feeling stressed
i am soo stressed that i can only fit i this blog while sacrificing sleep, but i’m soo tired that i’m mispelling everything! ;p
just really stressed! but then again, arent we all? so i wont really complain about it, because that’s just selfish since everyone is the same about stress at the end of the semester!
i have been hanging out with rachel a lot lately, but i am keeping...
reading paper towns by john green
it has given me so many things to think about! it talks about how people are mirrors of others. how there are so many metaphors for people that how could we possibly know which metaphor is the right one!
i have been questioning the mirror one most. how do i reflect people? how do i reflect myself. am i a good window for people to see? how do others see me? am i a god or animal to them? am i of...
so confused!
my mind is stuck right now! idk what is going on currently so i dont know how to fix it. i think i need a smoke, but i shouldnt cuz i’ve been pushing it lately, so i’m proud of myself for that, but dangit i cant really think of another solution to an unknown problem! i feel um…idk…i feel…digressive? lonely? missing someone? who? idk! idk what the heck is happening! i...
forgive me, but i smoked 3 today which i know is one more than i promised, but it was for a good reason. i was happy and i gave myself a reason to keep me from going in my house where i would start to forget. i had so much fun tonight just hanging with amanda and the guys :) i forgot how cool she is.
i also half hoped that she would turn around, so i smoked in hopes for a movie-type romantic...
Dream no small Dreams
i realized what was missing today. i feel like i’ve lost sight of what i’m here for. i need to keep my eyes on the prize! i’m here because i am in love with music and because i believe these professors are the best that God could ever give me! i’m here to get the tools i need to have a stable job that i love so i can support the future family that i will love! that is my...
I can't wait until I fall in love... :)
all in all, i think this is the most…o what’s the word? content? hopeful? happy? aahhh let’s just go with all of the above. i dont really know how to explain it. but things feel like theyre on the right track? sure. let’s go with that. i’m gonna let go of life a bit, but i’m still gonna try and steer just a little bit now and again, so here we go….
and...
Good life
so rachel and i talked on thursday. she asked me a week ago if i could see myself in a relationship with her sometime in the future. i told her i sometimes did. she seemed fine with that, because i’m realizing people like the truth even if it is a little more real than they want. but then on thursday, she said she wants a relationship or nothing, because she cant live in a limbo world for...
paul writes “I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave…” i’ve also heard “i beat my body into submission…” i cant get that thought out of my mind. to understand the weakness of yourself so much that you know you must force yourself to do what needs to be done. paul exaggerates this by making it physical, but it makes it clearer when i imagine him...
mondays suck.
i think the world agrees to that. mondays suck. almost always.
have you ever had that feeling like this isn’t your life. maybe you worded it differently: “is this where i need to be?” “where would i be if?” or simply “what if?” i came across this tonight. it was different though, like what if i really am suppose to be someone else. maybe i should be...
last night
my sister threw me a b-day party with most of my friends there! except evan cuz he is sick :( so tyler tayler and ronnie. tomo was busy ;p
just to get to the point. i drank some more at the party. nowhere near as much as last week! but enough to get me tipsy. and it seems like everytime i do something that pushes me off the deep end like get drunk, i have a sober friend that is there for me. they...
normal day
yep lol nothing of real importance today :) so idk why i’m even bothering to blog, but o well!
that’s all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGLB3riejJU
today was my b-day
and it was a great day :) it brings me to the realization that i am blessed. i went to austin this past weekend, and i learned that my friends are the best ever! :) i supppose because it is a blog, i should explain further, because i feel like a blog is essentially a journal that you trust the public enough to make apparent. so, in austin, i totally got drunk! i was with friends, and they didnt...
i like change, but i feel like my world is bombarding me with change and refuses to stop. but i’m ok with that! bring it on! i’ll take your punches and i’ll deal them back with interest! but this weekend, let me rest :) because my birthday is on monday, so it’d be nice to be well rested for it ^_^ cuz i’m have the privaledge of giving two violin lessons and take a...
